Kathi and Carl

by Kathi

I was married to my husband for twenty-four years and he died in 2005. I was in my fifties and single for a couple of years when someone said,“Why don’t you go on eHarmony?” People recommended it, but I had heard horror stories that it was dangerous. Then I saw the commercials on TV and all the good, happy endings so I said,”Oh well, why not?”

I started chatting with a couple of fellows online. For eHarmony, you start a profile with your likes and dislikes, your religious beliefs and a little bit about yourself. I was very particular because I am a Christian and the most important thing is my relationship with Jesus Christ. Since I was looking for a potential husband, I did not even consider matches which clearly did not have the same passions to truly know God as I do. I had a choice to state whether I wanted to just make friends, date, or get married. I believed God had someone for me to love, so I put marriage. I wasn’t there just to make friends. I knew I wasn’t designed to be alone.

I had just gotten back from being with my little grandson – he had been in the hospital for two days, It was a very emotional time. I got back and looked online and eHarmony had sent me a potential mate. I saw Carl’s picture and I said: “Aw, he looks so kind”. His picture just looked kind. We started chatting online. I was scared, and for awhile all we did was chat. He would say, “Pleeeease call me, ” and I would say “Nooooo, I’m not ready, I’m not ready.” I was quite slow and shy about starting a relationship with anybody.

This was in 2007, two years ago. Finally after a month I called him. This may sound strange, but I actually felt I loved him before I met him. I told him I loved him, and he said he loved me, even before we met. Was this possible?

I felt God calling me to make a difference in Carl’s life. He was divorced many years ago and had been really hurt by women. He had many shattered dreams. He was wounded and looking to Jesus to help him deal righteously with his pain.

We had our first date on August 11. My daughters said: “What if he’s an axe murderer? You never know!” I called his pastor and received his glowing reference. This gave me assurance, but just to be safe we met in a restaurant with my pastor and his wife, and then we took a walk. It was neat because we both brought each other gifts -- and we had had the same idea to give the other a journal, since we both love to write as well.

We started dating and two months later he asked me to marry him. At that point, he was being pressured by friends and family who said, “Here’s this great girl and what are you waiting for?” But he wasn’t ready and I wasn’t either -- we hardly even knew each other. We were both a bit confused, and we actually didn’t see each other for a couple of months.

This time proved to be essential to give us space to sort out some very new and intense emotions. One day, out of the blue, he felt God saying: “Call Kathi again.” I’m glad he listened. In the meantime I had chatted with a couple of other guys, even had a date with one. These relationships were going nowhere fast. When Carl called and we started dating again I told him I felt rescued. We focused on building our relationship and on a less selfish foundation this time, and it deepened beautifully.

I want to tell you, I’m 54 and he’s 60, and these teenage feelings are NOT what we expected at our age!! It's pretty wonderful! He proposed to me (again) on March 15th of this year and on July 4th we became husband and wife! It was a joyful day and I am blessed beyond measure! I believe that marriage is a commitment and a decision that you make for a lifetime. I believe you work on it and take it very seriously.

There are dangers in any kind of dating. If you go on a blind date with somebody, it’s a danger also. I’m sure there are people that are totally against internet dating, but I would just say exercise caution. Don’t compromise your values. Living by Biblical principles has never failed me yet! We are presented with a clear warning, for our own protection, against being "unequally yoked.” I think E- Harmony matched us well!

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